A few weeks back you might remember me talking about a friend of mine whose brother was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Cameron is his name, and he’s just 33-years-old. Six months ago he began feeling pain and losing strength in his arms and neck. He’s begun radiotherapy and has been journaling his highs and lows on a blog-site.
One of his entries is titled ‘It’s so unfair’. This is what he says:
“The word ‘unfair’ has come up a lot recently. Years ago I use to repeat the quote ‘The only fair thing in life is that life is unfair to everyone’… I don’t quote this anymore because I don’t believe life is unfair to everyone. But it has been really unfair to me.
“I have a wonderful wife, and there is no amount of space in webpage history where I could write enough to do her justice. Likewise, my family is incredible. I have been given a family that has stopped to surround me and support me with no boundaries. My Dad is helping me with my work, Mum is prepared to do her usual everything to make my life as rich as possible, and my sisters continue to show me love through all circumstances.
“I have friends that have sacrificed a lot to look after me, prepared meals for me, offered to be by my side in minutes if I need them, and comforted me when things have got tough.
“I have a warm and comfortable home, a comfortable bed, a fridge bursting with food, a warm jacket for the winter and air-conditioning for the summer. I eat more than my three meals a day and go out way more than I should.
“This is so unfair.
“It is unfair because I have received all these things without justification. To get through some aspects of my life I have been a real [idiot]. I have lied, cheated, stolen, been dishonest and cruel. I have treated people badly in relationships, rudely dismissed people’s care for me, spoken badly about people, made fun of others’ misfortune and been disloyal. I have broken promises, thrown generosity back in people’s faces and avoided helping others in need…
“It is so unfair that I should be enjoying such a rich life when I have done stupid things in the past, and may do them in the future too. It is unfair that many of the people that I have treated poorly in the past are the ones that demonstrate their care for me now…
“In the last few years I have given God very little time. I haven’t prayed much, haven’t read much of the bible, I don’t like singing churchy songs, I feel nauseous in churchy bookstores, I haven’t gone out of my way to participate in anything that would convince the world that there is a God… [And yet] In the middle of my indifference and scepticism, irreverence and attitude, I completely and profoundly feel treasured.
“Now that’s unfair.”
What a refreshing perspective on life from one who may lose it. What a reminder of grace – that we are all recipients of gifts that we can never claim to have deserved. And what a reminder of gratitude – being thankful in all things. You can keep up with Cameron’s journey through cancer at www.thewalkbeside.com
© 2007 Sheridan Voysey is a writer, speaker, broadcaster and author of Unseen Footprints: Encountering the divine along the journey of life (Scripture Union, 2005). www.thethoughtfactory.net
