I would just like to add this point to my previous entry. Christian's have a unified field of knowledge in regards to the basic questions that confront them from within our Judeo Christian tradition. We can know our position truthfully but not exhaustively because we are finite. This is why modernity died because it was built upon the ideas from the finite minds of men and women. For the Christian, the questions from the chance section of empiricism don't have a framework for being understood. We are in either of two chairs; man with the Bible or man without the Bible. There are only these two chairs in the universe. My wife saw me in a vision when she was 12 in NZ. I met her in a pub in Sydney in 1982 when I was 22. Today we have 12 children who understand their Christian epistemology. They don't always get it right, but the framework for knowing what is right and wrong they understand well. With 9 son's we have had to make sure that when it came to relationships, that the only basis for relationship is the universal example shown to us in the Trinity. If our children get this part wrong then as a parent I have not performed as I should do. Jesus did this when he set the Samaritan woman's thinking right and the two men on the road to Emmaus, and the man from Gadarene to. The they were ready to comprehend truth and revival was the result in all three cases. Jesus didn't preach because their frameworks for reasoning were different to His. God Bless Australia particularly the family unit!

I talk to a lot of youth and older folk who experiences something like this. What I have found is that when it really comes to understanding what confronts them from within their own system most are vague to say the least. Few have intellectual integrity about the God who is there in three persons' whose mutual reciprocal actions between each other denote one God. So for the Christian love and communication have meaning based upon the Trinitarian idea. We being personality have true moral actions and guilt before a personal infinite creator God. Man sinned and became separated from God as a result but God sent His Son Jesus to bare the penalty for our sin. He became the way for Man back to God and He alone. He sent His Holy Spirit to be our comfort and our guide and to testify of the Christ to us and to impart the finished work of Christ into our very hearts. One point to remember here is that because God is personality and we are made like Them, we have true moral guilt. Sin separates Man from God, but guilt is what is what keeps him bound. For us the Christian, the question of guilt is eternally gone. I believe this is the basic Christian philosophic position. If anyones partner is vague at this point, then they can expect issues. However on a deeper note the implications of this position on our non-Christian world is simply heart breaking for many. Christian's must understand their epistemological position as I have explained briefly here. Ask anyone where love and communication come from and they cannot answer with any certainty unless they start in Genesis 1:1 where personality was and is. This really is basic Christianity and easier to learn than the 10 Commandments. If your partner can grasp this, at least you will be on the same wave length. God Bless!

It should never be a question about what spiritual level are they at because as has been said it is too hard to judge and it can be judgemental if you say they are at different spiritual levels.

I believe that it is appropriate to look at the desire and where you want to be, where your heart is and if that is the same then you should stay together.

This is not about judging but seeing your attitude and find out if you will move in the same direction and talk about this openly and honesly as much as you can.

Take each other at what you say and see what your feelings are after you sense what he longs for and then make up your mind.

I don’t think it’s so much about if the people are at the same “level” of maturity – because I don’t believe any two people can ever be.

What degree of difference makes them “incompatible”?
How can we measure it? Everyone has been lovingly made unique by a God who values difference.

Remember He even made it so no two snowflakes are the same, all the more two people! Even trying to get people to agree on how we measure maturity is likely to end in a fist-fight!

I think that the question that needs to be asked instead is do the both wholeheartedly love God?

One problem seems to be that Abbie is looking with a standard set of modern western church blinkers. Measuring her maturity by what she does & has done, by her commitment to an institution – all of this is unfortunately so very common.

My challenge to her is to begin to see his relationship with God through his eyes.
How does he relate to God?
How does he see God?

Why doesn't he want to get up early for church? Is it because he’s a shift worker, because he’s never been able to discover any purpose in going to Church or because he’s been out all night drinking?

That fact that he isn’t “excited” about what Abbie is excited about simply shows that the pair of them are seeing the world differently. This is wonderful! This is an opportunity for them to understand each other in a whole new way.

Be careful to remember that just because Abbie’s been a Christian for longer doesn’t mean that she’s seeing things clearly. Remember the story of the “Emperor’s New Clothes”? Why IS he not excited about Church? To be brutally honest, I’ve seen a number of churches that I’d not be excited about attending!

If Abbie sees he has a passionate love for God in his heart, then she may not be up to his standard. God does not judge us according to our knowledge, but by our relationship.

When the wife & I were deciding if we should get married, we’d had wildly different Christian experiences. I remember being ‘drilled” by a number of her friends about what made me think I was worthy of her. We were simply different. Maybe we were “unevenly yoked”, but only in the sense that we came with different skills. Sometimes the wife knew how things worked & I was the one with the “L” plastered on my rear, sometimes the opposite. Sometimes we both had one.

Over the years, we’ve learned that we look at life, love, the Church, etc, differently. A good proportion of the arguments we’ve had over the years have been on doctrine! What we’ve learned is to value, even cherish, the differences because there is one common in our lives - our love for God. It’s expressed differently in each of us and is all the more precious because of that.

Love works because the people involved are committed to it working. They willfully decide to passionately love each other. This hold true for us and God as well. God has shown us the way by willfully loving us with an undying passion. God is completely sold on us. After all the years I’ve been a Christian I’m more in love with Him now then ever before.

Hi My encouragement to you Abbie is to pray & wait. God will show you.

Thess 5 :16 -18
Pray, Ask God to show you what to pray for, you have to be responsible for your relationship with God not other peoples. From what I understand it can be pretty scary for guys if the girl is more spiritual or full on for God. We have to remember we are all at different places in our journey with God. Maybe he is scared, feels a bit powerless. I am 100% sure that God will give you peace in your spirit with whatever your result is even if it doesn't work out.

I will pray that God gives you wisdom and you are able to hear your spirit in the midst of it all and God's peace will be upon you as in John 14:27.

Hey, I have to say that my sister and her Boy Friend were in this same situation not too long ago. the way they worked it out was that they just stayed together and took every oportunity to talk about it, i think that this might not be the right aproch for every one, but it is just how my sister made her way through it.
God Bless you through your reationship.
D.C-Man

My advise to Abbie is to wait, possibly break up and wait. From my experience it is so important to be equally yolked. She should take it to God in Prayer, maybe if she is feeling this, it may be God speaking to her. One called talked about not Judging, and yes we are not to judge as Jesus taught. However we must make judgements on how we are to live and on the decisions that effect the course of our lives as one day, (whilst as a christain we will still be saved through the blood of Jesus), we will need to give and account before God of how we lived for him.

One of the best thing I can teach my children is to be decerning or to make judgements on what is right or wrong for them.

I was in a similar situation to what Abbie is describing and in hindsight for my situation I an so glad the relationship didn't continue. However for Abbie she should seek God, let him confirm what is right for her as it may be different.