A couple of weeks ago we spoke to Dr Tom Frame about the ethical aspects of reproductive technologies. Afterwards I received an email from a listener, who we'll call John. He writes:

"I have recently learned that my wife and I are very unlikely to become pregnant naturally. I am trying to think through the ethics of IVF, even though there may be an ethically OK path of IVF to tread, I still feel like it is a lot of money for a POSSIBILITY of a child of my own genes. Is this selfish? Does this treat the child as a commodity? Should I rather spend the money and effort on loving a child that already exists and as we speak desperately needs love and hope and care? I wonder if this is better."

John and his wife are weighing up a very common dilemma for infertile couples - whether to try IVF and create a life fom their own genes, or whether to adopt a child out there already alive and needing a family.

John and his wife are very clear that this difficult decision is their own, but as they consider their options, they are keen to hear your thoughts on the matter.

• Is it selfish to want your own child, when it will cost considerably more than other couples to achieve this?
• Is it better to look after a child who’s already been brought into the world and needs love and care?

Your thoughts, ideas and stories are welcome, as always.