Our Everyday Dilemma tonight comes from Phillip.  Phillip’s been married to Carol for many years, but she has recently been diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder.

Although Carol was professionally diagnosed by a psychologist, she has not accepted the diagnosis.

Phillip says Carol’s condition has been getting worse. She’s experiencing a lot of paranoia; she doesn’t trust Phillip, and often accuses him of lying to her over quite small things.

Phillip’s dilemma is this – Friends say he should separate from his wife, which he firmly does not want to do. Yet her condition is becoming increasingly hard to live with. They’ve tried couple’s counselling but can’t progress while Carol denies she has a mental illness.

Ultimately Phillip needs professional help with this problem (which he’s getting), but he’s asked us to explore his dilemma for him.

I think there are two things in particular to talk about:

• Have you have ever lived with someone suffering from mental illness - maybe a family member of friend? How can you learn to persevere?

• And if you have lived with someone suffering a mental illness, did you learn anything about encouraging your loved one to seek help for their condition when they were in denial?

• How do you live with someone with mental illness?