Our dilemma this week comes from Rob in Far North Queensland.

Rob’s elderly parents live a very solitary life, in far-flung Sydney. His father has a fear of flying, can't drive, is vision impaired, and profoundly deaf - so he can’t even talk on the phone. His mum has all her faculties, but she struggles to make decisions, and hardly ever gets out of the house.

As a result, Rob’s family almost never gets to see or speak to this dear old couple - - Unless they travel the 2000 kilometres to Sydney themselves, which is an expensive exercise when you’ve got three teenagers.

Rob and his wife Jan have offered many times to fly the parents to Queensland for a holiday. But this lonely old pair seem have declined every time. Sadly, Rob’s teenage kids feel their grandparents just don’t care about them…

The dilemma is about what to do for Christmas. Rob & Jan simply can’t afford another family trip to Sydney this year. They want to fly their parents up to Queensland, because two airfares is a lot more achievable than five. But they’re worried about the repercussions.

• Should they “kidnap” their parents for Christmas?  In other words buy the plane tickets as a surprise, in the hope that it will get them out of the house, and help them overcome their fears of the big wide world?
• Or will this cause the elderly couple to dig their heels in even more?
• Should they just allow the parents to make their own decisions at the risk of them having a lonely Christmas Day?

• Do you have elderly parents who are a bit afraid of getting out and about?
• If so, where do you draw the line between arranging things for them, and respecting their wishes?