We’ve got a grandma with a dilemma.  Maria has a teenage granddaughter, Renee, who’s living with her this year while she completes Year 12.
Renee wasn’t doing too well at the high school back in her own hometown; She wasn’t getting much support from her parents and didn’t have the self-discipline to knuckle down and study on her own. So Maria took her in. Being a former teacher, Maria is well equipped, and motivated, to support Renee through the big HSC year.

But here’s the problem:  Renee’s parents seem to be taking Maria for granted. They’re sending some money each week, but it’s not enough. Maria’s forking out more and more to pay for the things Renee needs… and she really can’t afford it.

Some of the family have already tried to talk to Renee’s mum, but they say she’s impossible to reason with, so now they’re going to have to talk to Renee’s dad. They feel like they’re interfering, but out of concern for Maria, they feel they have to step in.

• What should Maria do? Should she demand more financial support from Renee’s mother?

• Or, should she be prepared to pay the extra money needed for Renee’s education? After all, she’s the one who wants to see her finish the HSC.

• Should she set an ultimatum, and send Renee home if things don’t improve? She really doesn’t want to… Because if that happens, Renee would probably just give up and drop out of school.

• Are you a grandparent who supports your grandchildren in some way?
• If so, how do you walk the fine line between assisting, and being taken for granted?
• Is there a strategy that you’ve found helpful, in gently encouraging your adult children to meet their responsibilities as a parent?