Ever wished you had your own panel of experts to take your problems to? Or ever wondered what the average person in the street would do—or has done—in the same situation as you? That’s what our Second Opinion segment is for. Give us your problem, dilemma or question: we’ll get the opinions of Open House listeners based on their life experience, and then one of our experts will give you pointers on what you can do next.
THIS WEEKS SCENARIO:
Deb and Ray are a young couple who are committed Christians. They aren’t married yet, but are in a serious long term relationship. And they’ve found themselves in the dilemma of what to do for holidays.
Understandably, like most young couples in love, any holiday time they get, they want to spend together. But how does a Christian couple, who believes sexual contact should be saved for marriage, get around the problem of holiday accommodation - while still keeping the boundaries of intimacy in place?
They’d love to go travelling together to visit friends around Australia for example.
But getting accommodation with two single bedrooms can be hard to find – particularly when you’re visiting friends in their homes who have limited space, and even more so when those friends are non-Christians who may not share or understand your ethical standards. And of course hotel accommodation gets very pricey if you’re booking for two separate individuals who can’t room together.
Should Deb and Ray give up on the idea of holidaying together? Or are there other options they’re not thinking of?
1-300 20 20—let’s give them some second opinions.
DISCUSSION POINTS
• Are there some practical achievable ideas you could suggest to Deb and Ray, so they can still enjoy each others company on holidays and spend valuable memorable time together?
• Or perhaps you think they should just leave the getaways until they’re married... Does travelling together even with separate accommodation raise the possibility of temptation?
• If you’ve been through this dilemma yourself, what decision did you arrive at?
• Have you travelled with a partner before you were married, and if so, what did you do to maintain boundaries?
• What are your standards on travelling when it comes to unmarried couples? Let us know...
Comments (1)
I am currently engaged and have been with my fiance for 2 1/2 years. We have never holidayed together outside with our families but we've had discussions about this sort of thing like staying over at each others' houses. Here are my thoughts:
I think it's really important to ask yourselves WHY you do certain things. We all usually know why we choose not to have sex together, but why not other things such as sleep in the same bed together. Some people don't do that because of the temptation. On a side note I think that if you are tempted that is something you need to sort out - as in you're tempted because you want to have sex (which is a desire needing to be submitted to God) rather than the other way around. For my fiance and I, not sharing a bed means to us that we are still separate people - we always have to part at the end of the day, whether only to another room or even just another bed. If what you do is keeping to your reasons, standards and most importantnly conscience (your own NOT someone elses) then you are fine. I have known a number of Christian couples who have holidayed together successfully and who I greatly respect.
The other thing I would like to mention is on how some people have been suggesting marriage. I have known couples who have gotten married young or soon after begining dating and I think that can be fine, but I do not think marriage should ever be looked on as a solution. If a couple get married without the right mindset as to what they are entering they may end up in divorce which is probably going to be harder on everyone involved.
All that being said I think each couple is different and can best judge what is permissible and beneficial for themselves in front of God.
Posted by Natasha | March 1, 2009 10:08 PM
Posted on March 1, 2009 22:08