Louise has a problem you might identify with. She's a mum in her 40s, and she's really frustrated at work. She works in the area of hospitality, but her real passion is in the arts - she's gifted as an actor, a dancer and particularly a singer, and used to throw herself into all of these things in her younger years - singing at festivals, in clubs, in churches, working as a choir teacher, even doing some acting with a theatre company. But she also struggled with her self esteem during those years and didn't end up exploring these gifts to the extent she would have liked.

Life took its course - she ended up getting married, having children, and her dreams went on hold.

Now, Louise has reached a time in life where she's starting to think about her own pursuits again. She's had to take on part time work, but the problem is, she's hating it.  She's not really cut out for hospitality, and feels frustrated because she's not working in her passions and gifts. She even feels angry at herself to think that all these years, she hasn't pursued her deepest dreams. She has applied for jobs in the arts, but is finding that unless you're really young, or have the latest qualifications, you don't get a look-in. What should Louise do?

Let's give Louise some second opinions.

DISCUSSION POINTS

• Has Louise missed her chance? She's a mum in her 40s. It's not usually the time when people start studying to dedicate their life to a singing career...
 
• Or is that narrow-minded thinking - Is there always a chance for people at any age, to dive into new careers or areas of interest?

• If God has given her passion and ability in this area, surely He could open a doors for her to explore it to some extent?

• What do you think?

• Is there a realistic goal Louise could aim for? Perhaps at this stage she's not about to record a platinum-selling album, or become a Hollywood leading lady, but maybe there's some more reachable goals to aim for, that would help her to feel equally fulfilled and satisfied.

• Should she go and study? Do a course at university or at an arts college perhaps? That might get her the qualifications employers are looking for.

• Is there anything wrong with going and studying when you're in your 40s and you and your husband are still raising school-age kids? Should she wait until the kids are teenagers and can support themselves a bit more?

• If you're listening and you've successfully changed your path or taken up a new career in your mid-life, maybe your story would help Louise? Give us a call.

• Louise says this is a real "crisis point" and a "crossroads". "Should I just continue working in the job I'm in and hate it? Or should I bite the bullet and do something about it?"

EXPERTS POINTERS - Judith Nicholls

I think this question calls for some ruthless honesty.  Because we are flawed humans we have turned self-deception into an art form.  So here are some hard questions to ask yourself :

1. Do you want fame and recognition or do you want a means of expressisng your talent.  We have had a cautionary tale on the cost of fame this weekend with the death of the hugely talented Michael Jackson.  When God gives abilities they are not for our own exploitation.  We are meant to dedicate them to him.  So maybe you are beginning at the wrong place.  Try praying that God will show you how to employ your gifts.  Here's a troubling thought- sometimes we are just conduits of our gifts for the next generation.

2.  How good are you?  Take a realistic assessment.  If you have no continued to dance at a high performance level you probably are not going to regain your flexibility.  Have you had anybody give you an independent professional assessment of your singing?  Have you thought of getting an agent?  But you may be able to get some work in commercials.  The mother of one of my friends became something of an icon in her 80s playing grannies in UKTV commercials.

3. Is the job is hospitality really the issue?  If so get another job if you hate hospitality so much.  Think about retraining in an area that you would enjoy.  In my own experience I have changed careers about 5 times.  But it is often very hard work.  But if you really want to fulfil this ambition don't wallow in what might have been.  God never shows you "what ifs" and they sap our emotional energy.  AS the footy players say "give it your best shot" and if you don't succeed let it go.

Finally - lots of people hit 40 and are discontented.  The past seems rosier than it actually was.  You have a family.   Be thankful for that great blessing and then use what you have  to  bring joy to others.