Fiona is stuck in the middle of a dispute between two friends. One friend works as a salesperson, holding parties in peoples houses to sell a certain line of products. Let's call her the Party Plan Lady. Fiona's other friend, let's call her Sharon, recently met this Party-Plan lady at an in-house presentation. All seemed well, but some time during the week after the party, things went wrong.

Neither will tell Fiona the full details, but it seems Sharon has ordered products then later changed her mind - and the Party-Plan Lady has turned up the heat and demanded payment. An ongoing dispute has resulted. Now this seems all a bit mundane, but Fiona's finding herself caught in the middle.

Her Party Plan friend is a Christian, and Fiona feels she probably isn't acting in a very Christian way.  Sharon, who ordered the products, is not a believer  -  and now has a very bad impression of what Christians are like. To make matters worse, Sharon has mental illness and has been really quite disturbed emotionally by the whole situation.

Fiona's wondering if she should step in or not, and if so, how?
Let's give Fiona some second opinions.

• You know one of your friends has hurt another - you don't know exactly what it is - What do you do?
 
• Anything wise she can say that should help?

• Fiona's worried about breaking Sharon's confidence by divulging information about her mental state, but she feels her Party Plan friend should know the damage she may causing by being so hard-headed.

• Do you go to Sharon and empower her to talk to her Party Plan friend directly?

• Or do you leave it and stay right out?

• Is it ok to step in on someone else's battle, when you can see someone you care about getting hurt? Or should Fiona mind her own business?
 
• How do you speak to a Christian friend about their actions, without appearing like you are moralising or lecturing?

• Sharon is known to be a bit fragile - perhaps she is overstating the offense. Is there something Fiona can say to her to try and help defuse the situation?

EXPERT OPINION - Sue Bartho, clinical psychologist.

It's a tricky decision whether to get involved.
 
"A gentle word turns away wrath"  Prov 15:1, comes to mind.  There may be an opportunity to gently help each of the women see a little of the other's perspective, and to inform the Christian one that she may have inadvertently offended the other.   The Christian one may need a little feedback about her behaviour if she is becoming over-bearing and pushy, especially if it is compromising her Christian witness.
 
Mental illness may also bring over-sensitivity with it.  I might be encouraging this lady to talk to her therapist about some asssertivness training, if this is more than a one-off occurrence.

Gentleness is the key - don't moralise and preach to your friends. Approach each of them with sensitivity.