Tonight's problem is a tough one with no easy answers. It comes from Jason.
Last year, Jason learnt that his wife was being unfaithful to him. He was in a job that often took him interstate and he found out that while he went away, she was cheating on him. When Jason found out, he confronted her and things started to get very heated. He decided he had to leave - largely to stop the arguments in front of the kids. Two days later, the new man moved in to take his place.

Now, the wife's new relationship has turned sour and she wants to patch up the marriage. Jason's a Christian and has forgiven what she did, but he's very reluctant to reconcile - Particularly because it's not first time this has happened. His wife has been unfaithful before, more than once. What should he do?

• Jason is a Christian and he says he forgave his wife as soon as she told him the truth about the relationship...

• The couple also have three kids and Jason's wondering if he should reconcile, even if just for their sake...
 
• But he says the hardest thing is the broken trust - especially as his wife has been unfaithful more than once before in years past... He says, "Do I really want to go back and have the same thing happen all over again?".

• And his decision is made even harder by the fact that he's now met someone too since all this has happened - a lady that the kids all like, and have urged him to have a relationship with.

• But part of him still wonders if trying to reconcile is the right thing to do.

EXPERTS POINTERS HERE
Sue Bartho, Clinical Psychologist.

Jason, there are a number of astounding things about your story:

1. that the other guy moved in (to your family home) within 2 days of you leaving!
2. This is not the first time your wife's betrayed you, and you're considering having her back
3. And that you could "forgive" so fast
 
If you were to attempt reconciliation, you would really need some serious relationship counselling.
 
One big question  is  "What was happening between us for this to happen in the first place?"  You have to find some plausible answers to this if you want to have any chance of preventing it happening again in the future, ie making changes to your selves and your relationship to safeguard your future.  In my experience, there is almost always emotional breakdown/distance in the marriage, and emotional intimacy has been allowed to develop with the third person.   From emotional intimacy, it is a very short step to physical intimacy.
 
Another issue is your wife's apparent contempt for your feelings.  Does she have any idea of the impact of this on you?  Maybe "forgiving" so fast has made your forgiveness "cheap" or easy?  What did you do with your anger and your pain?  Has she ever shown you any remorse?

Allied to this is the question of your self-respect and assertiveness in the relationship.  Are you able to ask her for what you need?  Or do you look after everbody else and neglect your own well-being?  Even considering having her back, without some profound remorse and profound changes, suggests that you are not valuing yourself very highly.
 
In Matthew 19, Jesus says that it is OK to divorce after infidelity.  He knows the terrible depth of pain and betrayal in infidelity, and He knows how hard it is to be fully reconciled, to rebuild the shattered trust.
 
Obviously this is your decision, but you need to be realistic and ask whether you have any reason to believe that your wife has really made any significant changes after all this?