ADAM is one very honest guy who phoned to talk to us about his struggle with pornography addiction. It's something he's battled for years. He says it probably began after his first sexual experience as a teenager, then became a serious problem in more recent years when pay TV was introduced into the house he was living in, and explicit images were easily available. Then came the internet. Adam does most things online - emails, banking - so he finds it hard to switch off the computer to avoid the temptation to download pornographic material.
Adam's a shift worker so is often alone during the day when everyone else is at work and he can't contact any friends. Also he experienced a relationship breakdown a couple of years ago, and hit a really low point. So he found himself looking at pornographic images more and more to try and drown out his feelings. He finds his most vulnerable times are when he's feeling either tired or depressed. Even when he's out and about, he can't get his mind off it, with sexual images on billboards and magazines. He says it's definitely an addiction that involves a cycle of binges and guilt.
Adam is a Christian, and regularly goes to a church, but he isn't really closely accountable to friends or leaders at the moment. He's scared to talk to anyone about the problem, as he fears he'll get a condemning, moralistic response, instead of real understanding and help.
• What advice could you give Adam that might help him?
• Any tips for what he can do when feeling vulnerable?
• Is there anyone he could talk to that might be able to help?
• If you have experienced struggles with pornography and been able to overcome them, tell us your experience - what did you do to break the cycle?
• Are there any accountability or mentoring sort of strategies that might help him break his habit?
• If you're a pastor who has counselled someone through this, I'd love to hear from you. Perhaps you have thoughts that might help Adam with his fear of talking about it.
EXPERT ADVICE:
Clinical Psychologist Dr Robi Sonderegger - head of Family Challenge Australiais writing a book on pornography addiction, something he's been dealing with more and more in the clinic, and has recently spoken about in various church settings. He said we need:
1) Four good reasons to avoid pornography
2) Four good contingency plans - plan ahead of time what will you do to escape or to stop if you are tempted
3) Four good buddies to keep you accountable
4) Do these things for four weeks - to break the cycle
Other helpful links and resources:
Testimony of Pastor Ron Brookman;
Internet filtering software to help protect you
12-step program, Sexaholics Anonymous Australia, www.saoz.net
