Raquel is one of five adult siblings, all in their 40s and 50s, who have 9 kids between them, aged from 5, to 23. For Raquel, the budget these days is quite tight, and it really is difficult now to keep buying Christmas presents for 9 nieces and nephews, and their parents - Particularly when, in all honesty, they really have everything they need - especially her adult brothers and sisters.
In the past these five siblings have actually agreed not to give gifts to each other, and just to focus on the kids instead, but slowly over the years they started again and are back to square one. How can Raquel broach the touchy topic once more, particularly when there's one sister who's a bit precious about still wanting to receive gifts - (despite her house already being cluttered with stuff)?
The other question is - what is an appropriate age to stop giving gifts to all the nieces and nephews, especially those who are now reaching their 20s? Financially its not really feasible to keep giving to each one at Christmas, as it all really adds up - and again it seems unnecessary. But will leaving some people out, make it awkward when they're all together in the loungeroom at the big family gathering?
Raquel is a generous and giving lady but she has to find a way to be realistic and draw a line here. Let's give her some Second Opinions.

DISCUSSION POINTS

• If you've faced a similar situation, particularly if you're from a larger family, what have you done to try and solve the Christmas gift squeeze?
 
• Have those strategies worked, or just caused more problems?

• Have you faced conflict in your family because of gift-giving expectations? If so, how did you resolve it?

• When it comes to nieces, nephews and grandchildren, is there a good age that seems right to stop giving gifts, especially when the focus at Christmas is often on making it fun for the little kids.

• If you're a young person in a big family, perhaps a teenager or in your 20s, I'd love to hear from you about what your family does to get around the problem of many kids to buy for. What age did you stop getting presents from all the aunts, uncles and grandparents? How did you feel about that?

• I'm sure there's some creative ideas out there - Tell us about your Christmas gift truce /arrangements.