Penny called through last week after hearing our interview with Terry Cooper about "Making Judgments Without Being Judgmental". She wanted advice on how to handle a judgmental husband. Maybe you can help...

Penny and her husband are both Christians, and she loves him dearly, but she's really struggling with his tendency to be judgmental and critical.

He's not necessarily judging towards Penny herself, but of other people.  He's critical of things like peoples appearance, he zooms in on the negative aspects of peoples character and judges people about things they do or say, and if someone neglects or offends him in even a small way, he remembers it and holds a grudge.

All of this is really affecting Penny's friendships with other people. She often feels she can't invite friends around because she knows what her husband thinks of them. He might not say anything at the time but he shows his judgmental attitude in his body language, and there is often a tense, awkward atmosphere as a result.

Penny wants to know how she can cope with this situation, and help her husband to overcome this tendency, without being judgmental herself, and damaging their relationship?

DISCUSSION POINTS

• How can Penny gently encourage her husband to see positives rather than negatives all the time?

• Is there a way that she can encourage him to be more forgiving and accepting?

• Generally whenever Penny tells husband not to be so judgmental and negative, he gets annoyed and tells Penny that SHE is the one being critical!

• So she wants to find a way to encourage him in the right direction without bossing him around and telling him what to do.

• Do you live with a critical, judgmental family member?

• What have you done that has helped them to change the way they see things?