Plus, the inspirational story of Bruce Feiler. Diagnosed with cancer in 2008, he set up a 'Council of Dads' to look after his young daughters. He'll share some tips on how your kids can benefit from the input of other men.

Picture by Michael, Flickr.

It is easy to be unaware of the church wars of the past. We may well take our protestant evangelical faith for granted.
When the often sordid details of the interactions of church and state (and church and church!) become a best-selling and award-winning novel, you know the author has real literary talent.
Hilary Mantel's "Wolf Hall" won the Man Booker Prize to much acclaim. It is a meaty novel at 650 pages, but extremely well-paced and readable. It chronicles the struggles of Henry VIII to rid himself of his first wife, Catherine of Aragon (simply "Katherine" in the novel), and marry Anne Boleyn in order to try and achieve a male heir and stability for the throne.

While popular movies, novels and plays have told the story from Henry or Anne's perspective, Hilary chooses to take the perspective of the enigmatic Thomas Cromwell, Henry's chief adviser. He was a commoner who rose through the ranks through his skill, ability, and sheer cunning.
As a lawyer, administrator and accountant, Cromwell makes an unlikely hero. He is perhaps, the ultimate public servant.
The issue Henry faced in divorcing Katherine was the opposition of the church, with the pope as the ultimate authority. Henry failed in his attempt to seek from the Pope a dissolution of his first marriage because of incest (Katherine had been married to his brother Arthur, but claimed she was still a virgin when she married Henry).
Cromwell then came up with the concept of making Henry the supreme authority of church and state, achieved through a series of Bills passed by Parliament. This marked the beginning of the English Reformation.

While some have described this novel as a wonderful insight into Thomas Cromwell's character, I found it increasingly frustrating to determine Cromwell's motivation. Was he truly sympathetic to Luther's movement, and the English evangelicals including Tyndale and Latimer? They were described as "the Bible men", questioning any church structure or practice that was not endorsed in the Bible.
However, he is also a shrewd pragmatist, motivated by power and wealth. What is clear in the novel is that Henry is purely motivated by his desire for Anne, and the hope of a son.
It seems even the author may be unsure of his motives with Cromwell commenting to himself: "I shall not indulge More, he thinks, or his family, in any illusion that they understand me. How could that be when my workings are hidden from myself."

Regardless of matters that it may be difficult to determine from historical records, Mantel's narrative, particularly the conversations between Cromwell and his arch-enemy, the papist Thomas More, are an interesting examination of the significance of the theological principle of "sola scriptura".
Mantel, through Tyndale, expresses the essential truths that so challenged the church based in Rome:
Saints are not your friends and they will not protect you. They cannot help you to salvation. You cannot engage them to your service with prayers and candles, as you might hire a man for the harvest. Christ's sacrifice was done on Calvary; it is not done in the Mass. Priests cannot help you to Heaven; you need no priest to stand between you and your God. No merits of yours can save you: only the merits of the living Christ.
This was a time when espousing such beliefs led to persecution, torture and martyrdom with More as the spearhead; but as the wife of martyr John Petyt says: "He can close the booksellers, but still there will be books. They have their old bones, their glass saints in windows, their candles and shrines, but God has given us the printing press."

We should never take for granted our access to the Bible in our own language, and the availability of excellent Bible-based resources, now not only in print, but also online.
The difference made by having the Bible available is well expressed:
"As the Word of God spreads, the people's eyes are opened to new truths. Until now... they knew Noah and the Flood, but not St Paul. They could count over the sorrows of our Blessed Mother, and say how the damned are carried to Hell. But they did not know the manifold miracles and sayings of Christ, nor the words and deeds of the apostles, simple men who, like the poor of London, pursued simple wordless trades. The story is much bigger than they ever thought it was."

The other major theme of the book is how all humanity is depraved: Cardinal Wolsey had an illegitimate child, people had to pay for every service provided by the church, monks and church leaders were often seen as getting fat and lazy on the offerings of the poor. Of course, the propensity of kings, lords and ladies for promiscuity, violence and excess of every desire is also chronicled.

It is also about the exercise of power, not in processions or conclaves, but "two men in small rooms... a counter pushed across a table, a pen stroke that alters the force of a phrase, a woman's sigh as she passes and leaves on the air a trail of orange flower or rosewater."
How true that seems in Australia's recent political history!
This is a wonderfully lyrical and compelling book with some clearly expressed Gospel truths and a sharp warning that those of us who claim the name of Christ, should live and love as he did.

KARA MARTIN is a lecturer with School of Christian Studies (www.socs.org.au), and is an avid reader and book group attendee. Kara does book reviews for Hope 103.2's Open House (www.theopenhouse.net.au).

RATING:                    PG

DISTRIBUTOR:          Seven Network

RELEASE DATE:          Mondays, 8:00 PM

Viewers would be forgiven for thinking they are watching Hot Property. 
Not only does Seven's new real estate program seem to draw all of its 
action from watching auctions take place, Michael Caton even stars as 
the host. Nice to see that The Castle is still bringing him work...

The half-hour series focuses on that topic of conversation that is 
likely to raise its head at most BBQs: the cost of housing. In 
particular, the program focuses on properties that will go 'under the 
hammer' at auctions. Each week it follows the progress of a small 
number of clients and their agents aiming to buy or sell a broad range 
of properties. Under the Hammer delivers a greater focus on the 
characters of the various auctioneers involved than Hot Property used 
to, which is probably for the best given that their moments in front 
of the lens provide all the drama.

Kids, traffic and housing prices are such easy topics to fall into 
that this series is bound to have a fairly dedicated audience, at 
least in Sydney. That said, I couldn't say that Under the Hammer 
really impresses me. The rule of thumb for participants seems to be 
sellers who have an unreasonable view of the value of their homes, and 
buyers who can't believe something is worth the asking price. 
Basically thirty minutes of greed and dissatisfaction each week. In my 
opinion fitness shows stand a good chance of making you feel fat, and 
cooking shows encourage gluttony. So what do you think Under the 
Hammer is likely to do for your contentment?

Jay's a Go-Kart racer. He's a member of the local karting club, and pours significant sums of their money into gear, and fuel, spare parts and competitions. On weekends, if he's not working, he's usually either down at the race track, training, or over at his mates place, tinkering with the karts. Lately he's started travelling out of town for competitions too - going away with the boys for whole weekends, coming home late on Sunday night, then going off to work again the next morning. And if Jay is at home on the weekend, he spends hours watching every motor sport race he can possibly find on Foxtel.

Until now, Caroline hasn't complained too much as she knows how important the sport is to Jay. He was already involved before they got married, and a lot of their friends are from the karting community. When Caroline has expressed concerns, Jay's made it clear that he's not about to give up his beloved sport.
 
But it's now at the point where something has to change. Caroline just isn't seeing much of her own husband any more - Jay virtually lives as though he is still single. He's not helping out around the house a great deal, they're not talking like they used to, and they hardly spend time together as a couple any more. They've discussed starting a family, but Caroline wonders how he can be a dad if he's so busy still being a boy himself.

What can Caroline do? 

 
DISCUSSION POINTS

• Caroline doesn't want to become a nagging wife, and she doesn't want to just demand that he quit the sport he loves - especially now that he's started to become quite successful.
 
• But she doesn't want to let things continue at the expense of their marriage.

• How can she find the balance of supporting her husbands dreams, and keeping their marriage healthy?

• Have you had the experience of a husband, or your wife, obsessed with a particular sport or hobby?

• What did you do to keep things in balance, and not let it overtake your marriage?

EXPERT ADVICE FROM PSYCHOLOGIST, SUE BARTHO

Caroline, I suspect that the obsessional hobby is not so much the problem here, as his emotional absence and immaturity.  I actually think it is possible to enjoy a passionate hobby AND be engaged in your marriage and family, IF there is really good communication, mutual respect and fairness.  And these can be hard to create!!

I see this issue almost every day of my working life as a clinical psychologist!  And I call it the challenge of the godly wife.  And that is to gently and assertively communicate what you need, without:     

Yelling, nagging and getting angry; Withdrawing in resentment and bitterness; Continuing to facilitate his bachelor lifestyle, or Ignoring your own needs!!

So here's how to go about it.

1.      Put some thought and planning into when and where will be best for you both to talk, AND what you need to say. (It often helps to do some journalling to find some clarity in your own thoughts first).  Maybe eating out at a restaurant, or lighting a candle at home, communicates that this is special time for us.

2.      You need to initiate the conversation with something like. " Jay, there is something I'd like to talk to you about".

3.      State the problem clearly, as you see it, not accusing him but sharing your thoughts and feelings. Eg "I've been thinking a bit about our home and our life together, and I'm beginning to think that our current patterns aren't going to be good for us in the longer term".  Pause!!  Hopefully then he says, "What do you mean?"!!

Then you can say, "Well, you may not like me saying this, but I'm beginning to think that it would be good for our marriage, if we could work out a better balance between Go Kart activities, Household chores and our time together."

What you are doing here is:    

- NOT overwhelming him with 500 things you want done diferently!
- NOT overwhelming him with powerful emotion that he wont know what to do with!
- NOT attacking him with criticism and failure
- Expressing your preliminary thoughts (suggesting that you haven't been brooding onthis for months, even though you probably have!!)

- Using plural language, ie our, us and we (that communicates that this is our problem and no one is being blamed!)

- Anticipating some of his reaction which sugests that you are mindful of his feelings

- Making positive suggestions that sound simple and do-able!!

At this point, or when he begins to get what you are saying, ASK HIM what he thinks (which is just respectful and courteous!)

4.      Eventually, you need to be able to Suggest a Way Forward, or to ask for what you want.  Eg "I would like one day each weekend to be for us, to get some chores done together and then have some fun together.  What do you think?"

Obviously, you will need many, many of these conversations in a marriage.  But I think the key is to share your thoughts EARLY, so as to avoid building up a huge headful of resentment and negativity, which creates all sorts of secondary problems.

It takes perseverance, courage, wisdom and much godliness!!